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hhhh i really wanna just… fade away??

3 years ago with 3 notes
and here's /proper fucking tagging/suicide twlook at that it's tagged what a miracleidk im thinking of the amount of times ive written (and queued) suicide notes all the times theyve sat there and i justdeleted them moments before being posted and watching the clock tick down until i had to finally actually delete itcalling myself a cowardand the actual attempts and you know the actual attempts i madei never wrote a note and that's like...idk i realized id never plan itand that scares melike i sit here wanting to fade away but i dont... im not gonna take action against thatcuz that's all i wanna do is fadr away and disappeari dont wanna /die/i write those notes in hope that by the time it's posted then i will finally be goneim most dangerous at my most impulsivei sit on my bed wrapped in a blanket and numb and i dont feel so i wont do iti wont hurt myself i wont take actioni write but that's all fake emotionless words as i wait for the rest of me to disappear with my feelingsbut it never happensbut when i feel i justim impulsive i wont take the time to fucking write i never took the timsi never did i never will and that scares me idk whyi get scared i panic it's my only way out and that's when i do itwhen i feelidk what i was going with this actually idkto delete
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  1. cecilcb posted this